Virtual Hugs vol. 1 | #70

A new series for your bad days

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Virtual Hugs is a new series for the newsletter. As someone who is always reading and consuming, I stumble upon letters, poetry or stories that feel like a warm hug. Hope that this series makes you feel better on your bad days. You can read all the letters for paying subscribers here. All of them have a sneak peek for you to consider becoming a paying subscriber.

Matter over mind

Megan Jones touched on how she relied on her Sufjan Stevens t-shirt on her bad days. My equivalence to a Sufjan Stevens t-shirt is probably my Spotify playlists, Alain de Botton’s books and poetry books by my poet friends. They are here as a safety net on my worst days. But I tend to not reach for them on those days (I know, pretty ironic).

I think everyone does this. Whether it’s lucky underwear, or a piece of jewellery you got for your eighteenth birthday, or your particularly sexy top that you only wear on first dates, everyone has material things they turn to when they want things to go their way. … It doesn’t actually change anything, or affect the outcome. It just puts you in a state of mind where you think you can handle whatever this stupid life throws at you, and in a weird kind of circular logic, it means that you do end up handling it. Matter over mind, if you will.

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On crying in public & supporting strangers

Emily Abbate wrote a story about seeing a stranger having a breakdown and how asking “you okay?” could break the dam.

A few years ago, I was headed home from Brooklyn on the Q train having my own moment and caught eyes with an elderly woman sitting across from me going over the Manhattan Bridge. I immediately looked away, but noticed out of my peripheral vision that she was digging into her bag. She pulled out a travel pack of tissues, and then she proceeded to offer me one. I felt another wave of emotion come over me as I cracked a smile and grabbed one from her. She nodded. I got off at the next stop.